People sometimes get skin rashes on their body. This is because their skin has a problem. This makes them unsightly, sometimes, unless their skin rash is out of sight.
There was a magazine once, that I read, and there was a guy in it, whose face was totally covered in a rash. His eyes looked very vibrant, becaue they were the only things on his face that were not very weird. Even his teeth were weird; in the photograph, he was holding a can of Diet Coke. Maybe that had something to do with it.
While reading the magazine, I was wondering about this guys' friends. Did they also have painful skin rashes? But then, if they didn't, did they have to explain his skin rash to others?
But the thing is, that, sometimes there are problems that your friends cannot help you with. In fact, if they don't have the problem, then there is no way that they can even begin to understand how to be a good friend about it. In that case, it's your job to be a good friend.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Late Night Friends
Often, I am awake very late at night. I wish I had a friend to talk to, but usually I don't.
You see, most people run out of conversational steam. As in, they only get through the pleasantries. They don't want to go the extra step; the step that would lead you to topics such as, "do you believe in ghosts," or maybe, "what was your weirdest dream."
In movies, sometimes there is a main character who is very convivial, and everyone flocks around him (or her). They are never at a loss for company.
But, the thing is that, movies are fiction. In real life, that person is not you, and should be hated.
You see, most people run out of conversational steam. As in, they only get through the pleasantries. They don't want to go the extra step; the step that would lead you to topics such as, "do you believe in ghosts," or maybe, "what was your weirdest dream."
In movies, sometimes there is a main character who is very convivial, and everyone flocks around him (or her). They are never at a loss for company.
But, the thing is that, movies are fiction. In real life, that person is not you, and should be hated.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friends in Sadness
Sometimes, when you're sad, a friend will be there to help you through it.
Unfortunately, there is no way to know if they're just "putting up with you."
Most of the time, they're just "putting up with you," probably.
This can make you angry, instead of sad. But usually, I am both.
Unfortunately, there is no way to know if they're just "putting up with you."
Most of the time, they're just "putting up with you," probably.
This can make you angry, instead of sad. But usually, I am both.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Buying Friends
It is said, that you can't buy your friends. This is true. I have never bought a friend, although I have tried.
The thing about friends, is that they can be acquired only through "emotions."
For instance, most of the friends I've made, have been this way:
1.) An interesting coincidence. As in, I sit next to them on the bus for a long ride, or we're stuck in jury duty, or we both hide in the kitchen during a party.
2.) A series of opportune meetings. I am now so old, that making a new friend is like going on a date. It is important to impress the person.
3.) Emotional interdependence. A friendship is often sealed through admissions of weakness, sadness, or occasionally, an insanely amazing good time. Usually, though, friendships are based more on co-dependence than cameraderie.
(As you can see, it is a three step process.)
Buying friends, however, isn't really possible. Unless, of course, you have more money than is even conceivable. If that is the case, then you probably are enjoying a fun time with your friends, rather than reading this.
If I could buy, friends, I would. I'd buy most friends.
The thing about friends, is that they can be acquired only through "emotions."
For instance, most of the friends I've made, have been this way:
1.) An interesting coincidence. As in, I sit next to them on the bus for a long ride, or we're stuck in jury duty, or we both hide in the kitchen during a party.
2.) A series of opportune meetings. I am now so old, that making a new friend is like going on a date. It is important to impress the person.
3.) Emotional interdependence. A friendship is often sealed through admissions of weakness, sadness, or occasionally, an insanely amazing good time. Usually, though, friendships are based more on co-dependence than cameraderie.
(As you can see, it is a three step process.)
Buying friends, however, isn't really possible. Unless, of course, you have more money than is even conceivable. If that is the case, then you probably are enjoying a fun time with your friends, rather than reading this.
If I could buy, friends, I would. I'd buy most friends.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Different Sorts of Friends
Some people have friends in a certain category. For instance, there are "golfing pals," "drinking buddies," etc. Some people have friends who they only go bowling with, or whatever it is that people do who have friends like that.
As I don't have many hobbies, I don't have any friends in certain categories. But then, I thought, it would be nice if there were friends for those weekends where, I never leave the house. As in, I actually don't leave it, because it can be frightening when there are many people out there having a good time.
I thought to myself, it would be nice if I could take some kind of substance—for some reason, wadded-up pieces of paper came to mind—and fashion a friend. I tried this last weekend, but it was too hard. But if I could, I'd sit this friend in the chair next to me and watch TV with it. Him or her.
As I don't have many hobbies, I don't have any friends in certain categories. But then, I thought, it would be nice if there were friends for those weekends where, I never leave the house. As in, I actually don't leave it, because it can be frightening when there are many people out there having a good time.
I thought to myself, it would be nice if I could take some kind of substance—for some reason, wadded-up pieces of paper came to mind—and fashion a friend. I tried this last weekend, but it was too hard. But if I could, I'd sit this friend in the chair next to me and watch TV with it. Him or her.
Friday, March 21, 2008
The First Friend
The first friend I ever made was a small orange salamander. I'd picked it up from the road near my house—it seemed that a lot of salamanders had to cross that road.
Anyway, I'd been having a hard time making friends in school. So I carried the salamander around for a while in my shirt pocket, and then brought it home and put it in an old, empty aquarium that my brother had found behind the science building.
I put rocks and grass inside the aquarium, and gave the salamander a secret name that only I knew. But then, I forgot to put water in the aquarium.
The next day, the salamander was all dried out, like astronaut food. I buried it in my mother's flower garden with a trowel.
The thing is, that when you make a friend, you don't always know how to take care of them. Sometimes you might not give them enough water, or what have you. It's important to keep an open mind, so you don't inadvertantly harm your friends.
Some friends are more fragile than others.
Anyway, I'd been having a hard time making friends in school. So I carried the salamander around for a while in my shirt pocket, and then brought it home and put it in an old, empty aquarium that my brother had found behind the science building.
I put rocks and grass inside the aquarium, and gave the salamander a secret name that only I knew. But then, I forgot to put water in the aquarium.
The next day, the salamander was all dried out, like astronaut food. I buried it in my mother's flower garden with a trowel.
The thing is, that when you make a friend, you don't always know how to take care of them. Sometimes you might not give them enough water, or what have you. It's important to keep an open mind, so you don't inadvertantly harm your friends.
Some friends are more fragile than others.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Don't be Lonlier
One thing about making friends is, that you probably won't be as lonely if you do. Unless you lose your friends. Then you're even lonlier than before.
Some people say, nothing ventured nothing gained.
But on the other hand, I find it's easier to just always go along with whatever your friends say, even if you disagree with them. This way, you'll never lose them. It doesn't matter if you don't like them anymore, so long as you're not lonlier than you were before.
Some people say, nothing ventured nothing gained.
But on the other hand, I find it's easier to just always go along with whatever your friends say, even if you disagree with them. This way, you'll never lose them. It doesn't matter if you don't like them anymore, so long as you're not lonlier than you were before.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Making and Eating Food or Drinking Alcohol
In many cultures, when people don't know each other, what they do is eat food together. Usually, one person prepares food for the other person, or a whole number of people.
This has gone on for many years. I think, probably it's because everyone eats, and most people enjoy tasty food. So once everyone is happy, the people who don't know each other can ask questions such as, "oh, do you own a house? Where is it?" And "how is your spouse? Do you have a spouse?" And even maybe "tell me the truth, where did you get that shirt, it's very fashionable?"
Of course, it can be harder to meet people, sometimes, in America. Usually, people find it strange if I invite them to my apartment to cook them food when I first meet them.
But, that doesn't mean that I can't still make friends.
The thing is that, people enjoy talking about things we all have in common. So instead of creating some kind of amazing food for the person who, for some reason, you just met, it's better to talk about the things that make you sad. See, most people hate their job, or their apartment, or where they live. Usually, they hate at least two of these things. As well, politics.
For most people, this is just like eating food! Except usually, the conversation sort of "stalls out," and everyone gets alcohol.
Getting alcohol is kind of like how, sometimes when you're watching a movie, the middle part doesn't make any sense, but then, somehow, there is a lot of action in the end. I suppose this is while people drink alcohol.
Some people like to skip the middle part of the movie altogether, and just be at the end. (That is a metaphor.)
This has gone on for many years. I think, probably it's because everyone eats, and most people enjoy tasty food. So once everyone is happy, the people who don't know each other can ask questions such as, "oh, do you own a house? Where is it?" And "how is your spouse? Do you have a spouse?" And even maybe "tell me the truth, where did you get that shirt, it's very fashionable?"
Of course, it can be harder to meet people, sometimes, in America. Usually, people find it strange if I invite them to my apartment to cook them food when I first meet them.
But, that doesn't mean that I can't still make friends.
The thing is that, people enjoy talking about things we all have in common. So instead of creating some kind of amazing food for the person who, for some reason, you just met, it's better to talk about the things that make you sad. See, most people hate their job, or their apartment, or where they live. Usually, they hate at least two of these things. As well, politics.
For most people, this is just like eating food! Except usually, the conversation sort of "stalls out," and everyone gets alcohol.
Getting alcohol is kind of like how, sometimes when you're watching a movie, the middle part doesn't make any sense, but then, somehow, there is a lot of action in the end. I suppose this is while people drink alcohol.
Some people like to skip the middle part of the movie altogether, and just be at the end. (That is a metaphor.)
Monday, March 17, 2008
Pet Death
I feel that I should tell you right now, that you don't always have to kill your pets. Because a lot of people think this, because in childhood they had to read books or watch movies where the pets died. For instance, Old Yeller, Where the Red Fern Grows, and the Yearling.
For instance, Old Yeller got rabies, so he had to be killed. In one way, that's very sad to watch. But in another way, it prepares the viewer to do the same.
Pets, generally, are very similar to friends. Some might say, "my pet is my best friend." Most of the time, people keep their pets out of danger. This means their pets die of old age. Except that really means, that they have some kind of illness that they die of.
Most of the time people bring their pets to the vet. The vet then gives the pet a shot. The shot kills the pet.
Then, the person leaves with their dead pet to bury it, usually, or they get it cremated. They decide what to do with the pet. So, in this way, Old Yeller and movies of its ilk are very useful vis-a-vis defining a set, of expectations.
But sometimes pets die suddenly, like from the impact of a moving automobile. Probably there are statistics on this. I'd say that, 90% of the time, it's from an automobile. As far as I know, there aren't any movies about that.
So, if you own a pet, there is a small chance that you will not have to kill it, or have someone else kill it.
For instance, Old Yeller got rabies, so he had to be killed. In one way, that's very sad to watch. But in another way, it prepares the viewer to do the same.
Pets, generally, are very similar to friends. Some might say, "my pet is my best friend." Most of the time, people keep their pets out of danger. This means their pets die of old age. Except that really means, that they have some kind of illness that they die of.
Most of the time people bring their pets to the vet. The vet then gives the pet a shot. The shot kills the pet.
Then, the person leaves with their dead pet to bury it, usually, or they get it cremated. They decide what to do with the pet. So, in this way, Old Yeller and movies of its ilk are very useful vis-a-vis defining a set, of expectations.
But sometimes pets die suddenly, like from the impact of a moving automobile. Probably there are statistics on this. I'd say that, 90% of the time, it's from an automobile. As far as I know, there aren't any movies about that.
So, if you own a pet, there is a small chance that you will not have to kill it, or have someone else kill it.
Grandmother Friends
Yesterday, I was visiting my grandmother. She has been having a very bad sinus infection!
During my visit, I asked her how she makes friends. She mostly wanted to know about my job, and if I was keeping my apartment clean enough, but eventually she answered my question. It went like this:
Me: Grandmother, what is your secret to making friends?
Grandmother: Sebastian, it isn't about making friends. Once you turn 30 years old, you'll find out yourself that you can't make any new friends. Only acquaintences. The trick is, keeping your friends! Of course, all of my friends are dead except for your grandfather.
Me: I am glad that you two are still friends.
Grandmother: He doens't talk much, but yes, I suppose we are.
This talk with Grandmother was filled with good advice! Mostly, I learned that I need to make some friends pretty fast. Then I'll worry about keeping them.
During my visit, I asked her how she makes friends. She mostly wanted to know about my job, and if I was keeping my apartment clean enough, but eventually she answered my question. It went like this:
Me: Grandmother, what is your secret to making friends?
Grandmother: Sebastian, it isn't about making friends. Once you turn 30 years old, you'll find out yourself that you can't make any new friends. Only acquaintences. The trick is, keeping your friends! Of course, all of my friends are dead except for your grandfather.
Me: I am glad that you two are still friends.
Grandmother: He doens't talk much, but yes, I suppose we are.
This talk with Grandmother was filled with good advice! Mostly, I learned that I need to make some friends pretty fast. Then I'll worry about keeping them.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Negative Hatred
Sometimes you might feel like, you hate your friend. Don't hate your friend! This is a surefire way to end a friendship. The truth is that, probably you hate some defect in your self. That's not your friend's fault! It's your fault, probably. Sometimes it's your parents' fault.
Making friends is easier if you see a version of yourself in others, that you can envy. Envy can be a strong glue in a friendship.
Making friends is easier if you see a version of yourself in others, that you can envy. Envy can be a strong glue in a friendship.
Face Transformation
Sometimes I feel sad. Most people feel sad at some point. It is hard to make friends while sad. The question is though, how do I feel happy again?
Well, what I do is this. I go to the mirror and breathe on it. I just keep breathing and breathing on it, until it's all fogged up. Then I draw a smiling face on it, over where my face would be. This way, I have a smiling face reflecting back at me!
The only thing is, after I do this I have to make sure that I don't look at any other mirrors or reflective surfaces for the rest of the day. Then the sadness comes rushing back. It's hard to make friends when that happens!
Well, what I do is this. I go to the mirror and breathe on it. I just keep breathing and breathing on it, until it's all fogged up. Then I draw a smiling face on it, over where my face would be. This way, I have a smiling face reflecting back at me!
The only thing is, after I do this I have to make sure that I don't look at any other mirrors or reflective surfaces for the rest of the day. Then the sadness comes rushing back. It's hard to make friends when that happens!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Trust
Sometimes in movies, they say, "don't trust anyone." That is often said for dramatic effect. But is it true in real life?
The truth is, it's complicated. In real life, you probably have a friend who you think you can trust. For instance, I have friends that it seems like I can trust. But unfortunately, I can not trust myself.
For instance, I have a hard time leaving the house without checking of the stove burners are off. I turn them off every day, but then after I walk down five flights of stairs, I have to walk back up and make sure. Sometimes, I walk halfway to the train, and then have to walk back.
You might be thinking, "but you can trust yourself, see, you're just being careful. Because every time you go back, the burners are off."
But sometimes, they aren't. Sometimes I leave them on.
So you see, I can't trust myself. But that also means, I can't trust anyone else, not even friends. But this is O.K. Because now I don't feel worried about trusting them, and no one has to tell me.
The lesson is, don't let distrust get in the way of making friends. The important thing is that, even after you make a friend, you can get rid of a friend. You can say, "I'm sorry, guy I work with who always smells like garlic bagels, and wears that weird blue shirt, I'm afraid I can no longer be your friend since there is no way I can trust you. With anything."
If you have been making a lot of friends, losing just one shouldn't matter. It's more important that, a friend be good to you, than vice-versa.
The truth is, it's complicated. In real life, you probably have a friend who you think you can trust. For instance, I have friends that it seems like I can trust. But unfortunately, I can not trust myself.
For instance, I have a hard time leaving the house without checking of the stove burners are off. I turn them off every day, but then after I walk down five flights of stairs, I have to walk back up and make sure. Sometimes, I walk halfway to the train, and then have to walk back.
You might be thinking, "but you can trust yourself, see, you're just being careful. Because every time you go back, the burners are off."
But sometimes, they aren't. Sometimes I leave them on.
So you see, I can't trust myself. But that also means, I can't trust anyone else, not even friends. But this is O.K. Because now I don't feel worried about trusting them, and no one has to tell me.
The lesson is, don't let distrust get in the way of making friends. The important thing is that, even after you make a friend, you can get rid of a friend. You can say, "I'm sorry, guy I work with who always smells like garlic bagels, and wears that weird blue shirt, I'm afraid I can no longer be your friend since there is no way I can trust you. With anything."
If you have been making a lot of friends, losing just one shouldn't matter. It's more important that, a friend be good to you, than vice-versa.
Like Having a Secret
Sometimes having a friend is like having a secret. Holding a secret, can make you feel lucky and priviliged. But then, there are a lot of people who might get hurt if you don't keep the secret to yourself. Eventually, you think you're the only person who really understands the secret. But eventually, the secret wants to come out. Because no one is really good at keeping secrets. Then, the secret doesn't belong to you anymore—it belongs to everyone. It isn't really even a secret anymore. And it isn't yours. It isn't anything, and you no longer feel special.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
If Nobody Was Friends
The thing about friends is, it's important to be nice to them. Unfortunately, not everyone can be nice all the time! The difficulties of maintaining friendships have been famously documented in great novels about friends, great movies about friends, and great television shows about friends.
Fictional portrayals of friends are sometimes static, and sometimes dynamic. But, it's important to remember, that they are fiction. In real life, friendships are complicated and, often often difficult.
I remember that, there was one time when I only had one friend. But then I was mean to my friend, and hurt their feelings. And it occurred to me, that it would have been better maybe to never have been their friend. It would have meant that the meanness never occurred. By being mean, I changed my friend's opinion of friendship forever, I'm sure. In some ways, it would be better if nobody was friends.
Fictional portrayals of friends are sometimes static, and sometimes dynamic. But, it's important to remember, that they are fiction. In real life, friendships are complicated and, often often difficult.
I remember that, there was one time when I only had one friend. But then I was mean to my friend, and hurt their feelings. And it occurred to me, that it would have been better maybe to never have been their friend. It would have meant that the meanness never occurred. By being mean, I changed my friend's opinion of friendship forever, I'm sure. In some ways, it would be better if nobody was friends.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Pets
Sometimes people are lonely, and get very depressed. One reason a lot of people are depressed is that, they don't have any friends.
Making friends is hard. Sometimes it's easier to get a pet.
For little or no money, almost anyone can get a cat or a dog. These are recommended pets, since it's hard to make friends with fish, birds, snakes, pigs, and other kinds of animals people keep as pets. These people own these animals because they are selfish, and merely want to look cool. If you don't have any friends, it's best to get a cat or a dog. Some people make friends with monkeys, but it isn't legal to keep monkeys in most states. Monkeys belong in the zoo.
Lots of people like cats. Sometimes, people get so lonely that they fill their house with cats. Then they get made fun of by neighbors, family members, and co-workers. In a general sense, this can be construed as proof that they were right in acquiring so many cats.
The only problem with pets is that they die very quickly. This can be very sad. The good news is, being a pet owner prepares you for death!
And the thing about death is, that we all have to face it alone.
Making friends is hard. Sometimes it's easier to get a pet.
For little or no money, almost anyone can get a cat or a dog. These are recommended pets, since it's hard to make friends with fish, birds, snakes, pigs, and other kinds of animals people keep as pets. These people own these animals because they are selfish, and merely want to look cool. If you don't have any friends, it's best to get a cat or a dog. Some people make friends with monkeys, but it isn't legal to keep monkeys in most states. Monkeys belong in the zoo.
Lots of people like cats. Sometimes, people get so lonely that they fill their house with cats. Then they get made fun of by neighbors, family members, and co-workers. In a general sense, this can be construed as proof that they were right in acquiring so many cats.
The only problem with pets is that they die very quickly. This can be very sad. The good news is, being a pet owner prepares you for death!
And the thing about death is, that we all have to face it alone.
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